Podcast 1:17 – Custody Scheduling Nightmares and Successes

Are you having a hard time figuring out custody schedules with your ex? Are you 50/50 and don’t know if you should be week on or week off? Or are you looking at a 2-2-5-5? If you don’t even know what these are you can hear the nightmare of scheduling when you have a blended family in this podcast. We discuss the pitfalls and successes we found in negotiating and working custody schedules.

Managing Schedules

  • Consistency is king in schedules for the kids. 
  • We just asked our teenage kids that have been living with this schedule and they do not want to change it. They like the way it is.
  • 50/50 schedules work best when:
    • The parents live fairly close to each other so exchanges are easier.
    • The parents are able to communicate with each other about the child without fighting.
    • The child is able to handle switching between parents’ homes.
    • Both parents are committed to putting the child’s best interest first.
    • The parents agree that the 50/50 schedule is the best one for their child.
  • We are lucky in that we only have to coordinate schedules with one ex-spouse not two.

Scheduling Options

2-2-5-5

  • The kids have consistency throughout the week. For school that means they are at the same house the same day of the week, every week and weekends alternate.
  • Kids are not away from a parent for too long a period of time.
  • Great for parents that live close. Kids can have the same friends at both homes.

Week on Week off

  • This is nice if you live further apart and the kids are not in school. 
  • Or great for the summer schedule.
  • Fewer Transitions

2-2-3

  • The kids split time with the parents during the week and alternate the days during the week.
  • This gives parents the opportunity to have every day of the week every two weeks.
  • More Transitions

Holiday’s and Summer Schedules

  • Mother’s Day and Father’s Day should be scheduled so the kids can be with their bio parent. 
    • This may mean that a weekend gets swapped with another weekend.
  • List all of the holidays that you want to share.
  • Some holidays you may want to do together. (Halloween Trick or Treating)
  • Some holidays you split in half or alternate.
  • Christmas for us has not been smooth because we have not been prescriptive enough for the two weeks the kids have off from school. We have only specified the Christmas Eve and Day.
  • Summer schedule can be hard to negotiate because of kids camps, vacations, etc…
  • We found that having a deadline for the Summer Schedule is important as it is a forcing function to make use agree.
  • We typically do a week on week off during the summer with sometimes two weeks at a time.

Logistics of Scheduling

  • We use Google Calendar to share the schedule,
    • Each kid has their own schedule as well that we use to put school events, doctor’s visits, camps. birthday parties, and even friend dates.
  • Set deadlines for determining summer schedules.
  • Try and be prescriptive for most holiday’s. It makes things less contentious. 

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darrenpulsipher

Founder of Yoly Inc. Helping people get socially centered all over the internet.

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