Episode 1:25 – Friends and Divorce

Friends are yet another tricky subject in divorce. Who gets what friends after a divorce? Does your new spouse make friends with your friends? What happens if you are in the same social circles still? Are there people that want to be friends with both you and your ex? It gets complicated really fast.
In this episode, we talk about the pitfalls and traps and how to avoid them.

Who Gets the Friends in a Divorce

  • Cannot specify which friends go to who, in the divorce papers.
  • Moving to a new location is typically what happens for one of the people. So that problem is not common for everyone.
  • In our situation, Darren did not move, some friends had to take sides.
  • It will be hard to have a friend still be both of your friends. You have put them in the middle of your mess. Not fair. You need to let them go sometimes.
  • Sometimes you might lose a friend because “divorce is contagious”. It is very hurtful. But you need to be understanding.

How to Make Friends in your Spouses Circle of Friends

  • Church Friends, Soccer mom friends, that you might have in common with your spouse’s ex.
  • Three sets of friends.
    • Your friends – Your exes friends – Friends with both parties.
    • Be respectful of your exes friends, boundaries are good.
    • Be understanding of your friends, they are trying to navigate the situation the best they can.
    • Venting to a person might seem ok but who do they talk to and who talks to them. Word gets out very fast in a small community. Be careful to only vent to one or two people who you can trust and know that they will not share what you have told them with anyone. 
  • Communicating with the friend network can be difficult.
    • When you travel in the same circles and have common friends make sure you are communicating really well with your ex, for your friend’s sake.

Being Friends of a Divorced Couple

  • Both get invited to a party by the same person. Can be awkward and uncomfortable.
  • It can be hard to navigate communicating with a couple that has been divorced. We feel for you.
  • Don’t get your feelings hurt if someone does not come to the party, lunch, or soccer game.
  • We have invited two couples that are exes, to a party just recently, without thinking about how it might affect them. 
  • Be supportive, try to understand that you cannot understand what they go through until you have gone through it.
  • Realize that all words spoken will go to the other side of the relationship. Be respectful and speak kind words.
  • If you are friends with both sides, you need to figure out who needs you at the moment.

Lemonade Moment of the week

At a wedding of Darren’s niece, Paige accidentally wakes up Darren at 1:30 am in the morning trying to find her purse that she did not bring on the trip…

Links

Transcript

00:08
hello this is Darren and this is page

00:10
and this is where’s the lemonade where

00:13
we talked about what happens when life

00:15
throws you lemons make some lemonade

00:17
maybe some weeks it’s lemons where’s

00:19
yeah some weeks it’s just lemons yep

00:24
on today’s episode we’re gonna talk

00:27
about who gets friends in a divorce it’s

00:31
French

00:35
friends are yet another really tricky

00:41
thing in divorce yeah I’m the court

00:45
documents don’t specify which friends go

00:48
with whom at least not in my court

00:51
document they might in some people they

00:54
might yeah I’m very contentious divorces

00:56
they might they might but they’re not

00:58
enforceable by law so it gets really

01:01
tricky sometimes how do you specify

01:04
which friends go where you may have a

01:07
friend and now they won’t talk to you

01:11
anymore

01:12
even though maybe you were friends first

01:14
it gets really kind of hard it does and

01:18
you know there’s really no way around it

01:20
I mean you’re gonna probably lose a

01:23
couple of friends in your divorce or you

01:26
know your spouse is your spouse ex

01:28
spouse is gonna lose a friend or two the

01:31
man’s probably gonna lose more friends

01:33
than the woman wouldn’t you agree

01:34
in our case yes because well because

01:37
you’re more social million but that’s

01:39
not always a case right but I just I

01:42
feel like girls always have you know

01:44
they’re close girlfriends and guys don’t

01:47
always have a lot of close guy friends

01:49
you know that yeah that’s simple just

01:52
typically typically right so anyway but

01:55
but you know a lot of times when when

01:57
you’re in a divorce situation you end up

01:58
moving yes and in that case then you get

02:02
kind of a clean break new friends but we

02:06
talked about this when we talked about

02:08
our siblings some of my siblings were

02:11
better friends with my ex than I was and

02:14
they felt a loss right they even told me

02:17
that yeah why’d you do that alright you

02:20
know they felt a loss and because they

02:23
still want to be loyal to me their

02:24
brother of course but you know they

02:26
still very much wanted to be with my ex

02:29
yeah and family you know it’s it’s

02:32
easier for families to draw the line

02:34
than friends yeah blood sprite because

02:37
it’s like even though I care about you

02:40
you know the exits leaving I care about

02:42
you but I really can’t stay in contact

02:43
with you because the family that’s more

02:46
blood that’s more understandable

02:49
but friends can get a little trickier

02:51
they can now in your situation it was

02:54
pretty easy because your ex moved away

02:57
yes in fact before our divorce was even

03:00
final he had moved away when we were

03:02
separated right so you got all the

03:03
friends I got all the friends I got them

03:05
anyway because he was not for me

03:09
no he was not he’s not social he’s done

03:12
a super sociable guy so the friends the

03:14
the friends that we had I was more the

03:17
you know instigator in being friends

03:19
with them not him even though I think

03:21
they loved him and he loved them but it

03:23
wasn’t like he was gonna go hang out

03:25
with any of these people like I would

03:27
does that make sense yeah yeah it does

03:29
no in my case it was very different

03:31
because we well kind of we’d only lived

03:35
here about a year when we got divorced

03:39
so they weren’t real deep friendships

03:41
yet but we still stayed in the same

03:45
neighborhood right and the same church

03:47
congregation Church congregation the

03:49
same you know soccer leagues whatever it

03:52
was right so there was some that was

03:55
yeah yeah who can I talk to who can I

03:58
not talk to can we just address

04:00
something really quickly here no now’s

04:03
not the time if you’re wondering why

04:07
Darren has a lisp he’s had a very bad

04:11
couple of days and right I have yeah

04:14
I’ve had a very bad couple days and he

04:17
had some dental surgery some extensive

04:21
dental work because of a bad infection

04:23
and so he had a tooth removed and he’s

04:28
got a temporary bridge until he can get

04:31
the implant and that was yesterday so

04:33
yes we had two great canals and it’s my

04:35
my Lisp is because of that and it’s

04:37
bothering Paige a lot not bothering it’s

04:40
just it’s funny she’s laughing at me

04:42
back to the subject yes back to the

04:47
subject okay so in my situation friends

04:52
had had to choose sides yes and some

04:56
didn’t and we’ll talk about that later

04:58
but it I felt I felt somewhat

05:03
like wow I thought we were friends

05:06
obviously we weren’t when they decided

05:09
to go and spend more time with my ex and

05:12
I was kind of excluded right that is

05:14
that is hurtful it is right it’s hurtful

05:18
and uh but you got to understand you’ve

05:22
got to try and understand these poor

05:24
friends that are put in the middle of a

05:27
little tug of war and you know I feel I

05:29
feel bad for them now another thing

05:33
causes a loss of friends is in fact

05:37
there was a an article that just came

05:40
out a study done by Harvard Medical

05:42
School that talked about divorce as

05:45
being contagious I hate that article so

05:48
much I know you do I understand it I do

05:52
but so when I was actually getting

05:56
divorced actually I was separated first

05:59
and then another one of my friends got

06:02
separated and one of our close friends

06:08
her husband said to her I really don’t

06:11
want you hanging out with them anymore

06:13
and I can’t tell you how how much that

06:17
hurt me and because I thought first of

06:19
all I am the first one to tell anyone to

06:23
not get divorced I mean I’m the first

06:25
man and even back then even when I was

06:27
separated I would have said to anyone

06:29
you know do not go down this road if at

06:32
all possible so I was not maybe the

06:35
typical divorcee that they’re talking

06:37
about in this article that’s going out

06:39
and having fun and oh the single life

06:40
was great completely the opposite anyway

06:43
but it was so hurtful when she said I

06:47
really can’t hang out with you guys

06:48
anymore because my husband’s worried and

06:50
at the time I was just like oh my

06:52
goodness he’s kind of a jerk and this is

06:54
so hurtful but I don’t think he was a

06:57
jerk I think he was scared I won’t and I

06:59
totally get it because the numbers are

07:01
pretty compelling yeah but you also have

07:04
to realize if you are in the middle and

07:06
this was only four people that were

07:09
friends with people before the divorce

07:11
while they were going through a divorce

07:13
right if you make friends with the

07:15
person that’s already been divorced

07:16
the numbers aren’t there right but I can

07:20
understand why you would feel hurt yeah

07:23
I I was very hurt very very this was my

07:25
really really close friend but you also

07:28
have to understand where they’re coming

07:29
from absolutely and I protect their

07:31
marriage yes I tried very hard to

07:33
understand and now I can see it 100%

07:36
that he was worried I mean her two

07:39
closest friends are getting divorced and

07:42
that was very rare at the time we didn’t

07:44
know a lot of people out of our friends

07:45
were not divorced and so this was two

07:48
very rare things happening and I totally

07:51
I totally get where he was coming from

07:53
so in this section that we’re talking

07:55
about who gets friends in the divorce

07:57
sometimes no one sometimes you lose

08:00
friends sometimes you lose hey you know

08:02
what it’s time to go to move on and let

08:05
that happen

08:06
yeah except trying to hold on all right

08:13
so let’s talk about friends here in our

08:17
situation now I was living here when we

08:21
got married and you moved in you moved

08:23
into my circle of friends and a circle

08:27
of friends of my ex-wife which was

08:29
extremely difficult for me because I had

08:33
to try and navigate who she was friends

08:36
with and who she wasn’t and just because

08:40
I wanted to be respectful I wanted to

08:42
have those boundaries and respect who

08:44
she was friends with I didn’t want I

08:46
didn’t want to try and pull someone over

08:47
like I wasn’t gonna play any games so

08:49
yeah I kind of wanted a list of stay

08:52
away from these people which of course

08:54
there is no such list but I really wish

08:56
someone would have said because I I was

08:59
I was having a hard time being friends

09:02
with anyone because I really didn’t know

09:04
what the situation was right and and in

09:07
my case I actually was friends with a

09:09
husband and their wife was a friend with

09:14
my ex right you wouldn’t be able to be a

09:17
friend with my friends right wife so

09:20
yeah it gets really really tricky right

09:23
so what we what we kind of found over

09:25
the years is you kind of group people

09:28
into these three buckets

09:30
Yeah right our friends that are friends

09:33
with just us right friends that are just

09:36
with our ex-spouse that that circle

09:39
friends over there and then friends that

09:42
kind of span both that her friends were

09:44
both both families right oh and then

09:46
there of course there’s people that are

09:48
friends with neither yes there are

09:50
people so I think that the easiest ones

09:57
are the friends that are our closest

09:59
friends that are friends with just us

10:01
because they don’t have to deal with did

10:07
I talk to someone the right way they

10:09
don’t have to worry about

10:10
they’re not being pulled they’re not

10:11
being told at all they’re just like you

10:14
know yeah so right and and you know what

10:18
it’s important that you recognize who

10:20
those people are because you need to as

10:22
a as a divorced person or in a blended

10:25
family you need to be mindful that your

10:28
friends are going through a rough time

10:29
they could be pulled in different ways

10:32
so identifying hey yes they are engaged

10:35
in both families is an important aspect

10:38
well and we are in a circumstance where

10:41
we are in the same neighborhood

10:42
congregations schools so we are going to

10:45
see each other and our friends and all

10:48
the time all the time so we have to be

10:52
friendly and kind and nice always to

10:56
which can be hard especially if your

10:58
relationship with your ex is on the

11:00
rocks at the time yeah

11:01
which you know what in any divorce that

11:04
your co-parenting it goes up and down

11:06
all right yeah right so sometimes you

11:09
need to vent so this is where having I

11:12
identifying the people that are just

11:15
your friends or people that are joint

11:17
friends is important you don’t go vent

11:19
to everyone in fact we talked earlier

11:21
maybe we pick one or two people that we

11:24
could vent to if we felt like we need to

11:26
do if we had to just get something off

11:28
our chest right yeah just one or two

11:30
people that’s that’s it and make sure

11:32
those people aren’t people that would go

11:34
around and tell other people I ran into

11:36
that problem in an innovative way

11:39
yes you did right when I was getting

11:41
divorced

11:42
I confided in one of my co-workers and

11:46
of course he told his wife which is no

11:48
big deal I would expect that right but

11:51
his wife then told someone at a soccer

11:54
game who then told someone in their

11:56
congregation who then told somebody else

11:59
and it came back around and then I was

12:02
saying bad things about my ex and you

12:04
had no idea you thought that you were

12:05
keeping things completely separate this

12:07
was a work person who had no connection

12:09
they didn’t even live in the area yeah

12:12
you got to be careful who you talk to if

12:14
you are concerned and it’s a very

12:16
tight-knit community then you go talk to

12:18
a therapist and things off or your

12:20
parents you know I mean a family member

12:22
exactly now let’s talk about family

12:25
members too we talked a little bit

12:26
before sometimes your family members

12:28
still wants to be friends with your ex

12:30
I’ve seen that happen right so you’ve

12:33
got to let that sort of thing happen you

12:36
can’t just plow over the top of that you

12:39
can’t force people to be your friends no

12:41
and you can’t force people to not be the

12:43
friend to someone else either that’s not

12:45
right

12:46
now what about friends that span both

12:49
families we there’s several people that

12:52
we know that are like that that are

12:53
friends with them and friends with us

12:55
and yeah I think I think that there it’s

12:59
actually harder for them because

13:02
sometimes I think they feel in the

13:04
middle a little bit and I feel for them

13:06
and I hope they know that I feel for

13:08
them I I understand I because we

13:12
actually you know have friends that are

13:16
divorced and we know both couples and

13:20
you know what the exes in the and so we

13:22
have been caught in the middle a couple

13:24
times and we know how that is yeah it

13:26
can get really tough yeah it can be

13:27
really tough when you especially you

13:28
want to invite both families to

13:30
something and oh is it gonna be awkward

13:32
I mean yeah it’s it’s hard so you got to

13:35
be really patient and understanding on

13:38
no matter what side you’re on another

13:40
thing you have to work on when you have

13:41
common friends is coordination and

13:43
communication yeah it can be tricky if

13:47
you’re both trying to organize right the

13:51
same

13:51
thing because you haven’t communicated

13:53
clearly and we’ve had that happen yeah

13:55
we have like a carpool maybe from a

13:57
sporting event or something like that

13:59
yes and we’re trying to arrange

14:00
something and she’s trying to arrange

14:02
something and good intentions on both

14:05
sides but because we didn’t communicate

14:07
good enough sometimes a friend gets

14:10
caught in the middle and so sorry for

14:13
anyone that that’s ever happened to yeah

14:15
in fact and even if the friends are in

14:17
different circles they may actually be

14:19
friends and Sol’s

14:20
yeah or share a friend in the middle so

14:22
the game of telephone goes around so if

14:25
you’re if you have a common friend’s

14:28
friend circles that overlap you’ve got a

14:31
coordinate when you’re doing anything

14:33
like carpools or taking treats to to

14:37
soccer games or whatever it is right

14:39
otherwise what happens is people hear oh

14:43
they’re going to do it Darren and Paige

14:45
are gonna bring that the snack of this

14:48
week oh no I heard his ex is going to do

14:50
it right oh so we don’t have whatever it

14:53
is right and either something gets

14:56
canceled or too many people show up for

14:59
something yeah so the ball can get

15:01
dropped and people people like our

15:04
friends or just innocent bystanders can

15:06
be caught in the middle of our little

15:09
miscommunication coordination so I hope

15:12
people are patient with us as we try and

15:14
figure out our life

15:26
okay let’s talk about our friends how to

15:30
be I love our friend you talk about our

15:32
friends yeah let’s talk about we’re

15:34
gonna name them all right no no we’re

15:37
not gonna let’s talk about being friends

15:40
with a divorced couple what that’s like

15:41
what do you mean

15:43
well I mean especially a blended family

15:46
it’s got to be difficult especially in

15:50
our case where my ex is in the same you

15:52
know circles of influence the same

15:55
circles of friends um it might get

15:58
really difficult to understand it’s

16:02
especially a fury and kind of in the

16:04
middle and friends with both do I invite

16:06
them to a birthday do I invite both

16:08
families to a birthday party right yeah

16:11
we and we’ve had you I send an email to

16:13
both to both of them talking about

16:15
something with one of their kids right

16:17
and we’ve been in this situation with

16:20
all those things you just mentioned

16:21
we’ve been invited to the same parties I

16:24
think we’ve had friends or acquaintances

16:27
that have struggled with which family to

16:29
invite and yeah I think it’s we’ve even

16:32
had the case where someone showed up for

16:34
a party at our house and it was for my

16:36
daughter and she was at her mom’s yeah

16:38
they were like oh we didn’t know what

16:40
y’all so I’m sorry

16:41
ain’t no that’s fine it’s right deal so

16:44
we understand how difficult it must be

16:47
yes and we actually have friends that we

16:51
are friends with both the you know both

16:54
exes and you know we understand how

16:58
challenging that can be and it’s hard

17:01
it’s really hard and I feel for the

17:04
friends but I guess what I want to say

17:07
to the friends as they’re trying to

17:09
navigate us and our exes just know that

17:14
we feel for you and understand that it’s

17:18
difficult and we love you yeah we do now

17:21
let’s talk about some practical things

17:22
that you could do yeah first off if it

17:24
has to do with kids and going somewhere

17:28
sending email to both parents it’s

17:30
always the smartest thing to do because

17:33
even though

17:34
they may be on a certain schedule like a

17:37
2:255 or week on week off you may not

17:40
know exactly where they’re going to be

17:41
when that happens right they need to be

17:45
picked up for a party or whatever it is

17:47
right so it’s always safest to just send

17:50
an email to both I’ll just cover your

17:52
bases yeah that’s just that will

17:55
eliminate any confusion so that’s one

17:58
tip that we have yep

17:59
um how about our hurt feelings a tip is

18:04
try to not let your feelings get to hurt

18:08
if you don’t get invited to something

18:11
that you thought maybe you would be but

18:13
you’re not because your ex is there

18:14
right yeah yeah exactly so that’s for us

18:17
so but as a friend of ours take a look

18:21
at you know it’s okay to invite two

18:24
people I’m you know us and Darrin’s ex

18:28
to the same party we may not we may

18:30
decide not to come right so don’t get

18:33
your feelings hurt when we don’t know

18:35
yes yes it goes both ways don’t get your

18:37
feelings hurt either way because you

18:39
have no idea if you’re friends with both

18:41
of us you may not know how our

18:43
relationship is with our ex at that

18:45
point in time we might be rocky or it

18:47
could be great and we can sit in the

18:48
same room or it may be that we can’t sit

18:51
in the same room too yeah so be patient

18:53
with everyone in the situation I like

18:56
that the next one would be try and be

19:00
supportive we know you probably haven’t

19:02
gone through the same thing that we’re

19:04
going through if you haven’t gone

19:06
through a divorce or a blended family

19:07
just be supportive the best way that you

19:10
can when we’re going through a tough

19:12
time whether it’s a disagreement on how

19:16
to raise a kid or whatever it is just

19:19
remember we’re going through a tough

19:21
time trying to figure this out so

19:23
anything you can do to be supportive of

19:25
of your friend is is valuable yep

19:28
another tip is words be careful yeah if

19:36
if something’s been told to you in

19:39
confidence that means it stays with you

19:41
yes keep that in confidence don’t then

19:43
go tell someone else and say Oh

19:45
even if you think that they’re friends

19:48
with what the person that gave you you

19:54
know vented to you or whatever telling

19:56
it to someone else they you may not know

19:58
exactly if they’re friends with both

20:00
families or just with one family so be

20:04
careful yep for sure and then what’s our

20:08
last thing figure out who needs you

20:11
yeah what do you mean by that um so if

20:15
you are at a party or get-together

20:19
neighborhood or otherwise and you see

20:21
both families there and maybe one family

20:26
is is having a hard time they’re feeling

20:28
uncomfortable because both families are

20:30
there and they’re kind of off in the

20:32
corner not feeling great about the

20:36
situation and you see the other family

20:39
and oh they’re surrounded by friends or

20:41
they’re having a good time and you’re

20:43
friends with both people maybe go to the

20:45
other person that night and say hey you

20:47
know how’s it going and so that’s what I

20:49
mean

20:49
see see who needs you in the moment

20:51
because we’ve been on that side of it

20:54
where I could have used a friend in that

20:56
moment and I could have used somebody to

20:58
come up to me and say hey how’s it going

21:01
when you’re just feeling really

21:02
uncomfortable in some situations and so

21:06
just be mindful of which side might need

21:09
you at that moment um another thing I

21:12
would say our friends have divorced

21:13
people especially if you’re in the camp

21:16
of both don’t ever talk to him about

21:18
child support or money or anything like

21:20
that you don’t want to know you may want

21:22
to know you might be very I want to know

21:24
but you really don’t want to know in the

21:29
end well it’s not there it’s not

21:32
anyone’s business right right it’s not

21:34
and we should said that’s very private

21:37
it is so you know asking can cause

21:41
problems but even telling causes a lot

21:45
more problems yeah so you’re gonna be

21:48
curious about a lot of things with

21:50
divorced people and blended families and

21:53
maybe keep your curiosity to yourself

21:56
because yeah those questions can be hurt

21:59
and if those are private things they are

22:01
now if you’re really curious you can

22:03
listen to all of our podcasts we’re

22:04
pretty open about a lot of things that’s

22:06
right if you’re curious we have just

22:08
helped you out

22:17
all right the lemonade moment of the

22:19
week you would think would be my dental

22:21
surgery but no it is not we had

22:23
something else quite interesting well

22:25
because maybe you can’t find any

22:27
lemonade through your gentleman we have

22:28
seen yes tomorrow the lemonade the

22:31
lemonade is that your brother’s so

22:33
graciously I’ve got great brothers fit

22:35
you in yeah so in an emergency they just

22:39
took care of you yeah it got to the

22:40
point Sunday night where I just couldn’t

22:42
handle it anymore

22:44
and so I booked airplane tickets down to

22:48
San Diego area where my brother is an

22:51
oral surgeon and my other brother is a

22:53
dentist and they slid me into their

22:54
schedule to to help me out with the

22:58
problem I’m having so that’s a great

22:59
lemonade moment we could just leave it

23:02
at that oh no we gotta talk about this

23:04
other one cuz it’s pretty darn funny so

23:07
page periodically has nightmares yes I

23:11
would say it’s more than periodically

23:12
but yes and in this latest nightmare we

23:14
were actually at my niece’s wedding in

23:18
Boise Idaho congratulations Sarah and

23:21
Andrew and we are at a at a hotel and

23:25
about 1:30 in the morning

23:27
Paige wakes up and is scouring around

23:29
the room and I’m a very light sleeper so

23:31
I see her up I was trying so hard not to

23:36
wake you up I didn’t turn any lights on

23:37
because your teeth had been hurting you

23:39
and you were asleep and so I was like I

23:41
can’t wake him up

23:42
so I have my phone on you know the

23:46
flashlight on my phone and I’m scouring

23:48
as quietly as possible the hotel room

23:50
I’m trying to find my purse and you wake

23:53
up and you go what are you doing and I

23:56
said I can’t find my purse I think I’ve

23:58
lost my purse I went oh crap so we you

24:02
got up you turn the light on we looked

24:04
through the whole hotel room the purse

24:06
is not there so I throw on some clothes

24:09
head out to the car scour through the

24:11
car

24:12
can’t find it I come back up to the

24:14
hotel room and Paige is sitting there

24:17
with the cute little smile on her face I

24:19
thought oh she found it I said I didn’t

24:23
bring my purse on this trip so we had a

24:29
nice little lap Paige went back to sleep

24:32
and I laid there for about two hours

24:34
going like ether myself I had had a

24:36
nightmare and CI I have nightmares like

24:39
this almost every night I wake up I have

24:42
forgotten something or someone it’s

24:43
always about forgetting something

24:45
someone and in my nightmare I’d

24:48
forgotten my purse and I usually shake

24:50
myself out of it within about 30 seconds

24:52
and I didn’t for for a little bit yeah

24:55
sorry baby it’s okay

24:57
well no you actually went right to sleep

24:59
so what’s the lemonade moment in that

25:01
eliminated moment I don’t know I got my

25:03
teeth operated on us a good laugh we

25:08
have a good laugh if you like today’s

25:15
episode

25:16
give us five stars on iTunes Spotify

25:19
Google and head to Facebook and like us

25:22
and check out our blog at where’s the

25:25
lemonade org where you can leave

25:27
questions and comments yeah but most of

25:30
all go out and make some lemonade you

25:32
bet you baby

25:39
in our next episode we’re gonna talk

25:42
about how to stay connected when one of

25:44
you in your marriage is traveling a lot

25:47
or gone a lot right

25:58
due to Darren’s injury and feeling

26:01
horrible this has not been our best

26:03
episode I’m just saying in fact you

26:07
probably shouldn’t even listen to it

26:09
well if when are you adding this at the

26:12
opinions oh okay yeah that’s a good way

26:15
of weird that’s a good place to put a

26:16
bit yeah okay

26:27
you

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