Podcast 1:34 – Retrospective on 8 years of Blending families

In this episode learn why it is important to take time to frequently renew your relationship. In our recent time away we recorded this podcast about the last eight years of our marriage. Find out our highs and lows and what we learned from it all.

What is different now compared to 8 years ago

  • Our relationship with Darren’s Ex has evolved. Time heals wounds.
  • The roller coaster of your relationship with your ex dampens over the years. Not as extreme as it was in the beginning. 
  • Our relationship is stronger now than before.
  • 8 years ago we felt that love would conquer everything. Not true. Check out our podcast on the horrible first year.
  • Emotions are very high that first year.

Challenges

  • Under-estimate the effects of the divorce and then blending of families on the older kids.
  • Did not set up good enough boundaries with the exes. How quick we respond to emails, we had to set a time to look at emails or texts.
  • If you are going to go to court, get a lawyer. Avoid court as much as you can. It causes a major emotional, and financial burden.
  • Helping older kids feel a part of the new household. 

Triumphs

  • We don’t live in regret, but we do try to learn from bad decisions.
  • Got the kids into counseling. It did not work for everyone.
  • We were in counseling. It taught us how to communicate and open up with each other.
  • Navigating friends and limiting things you share with people.  Not everything needs to be told.
  • Some of our older kids stepped up and formed strong relationships. showing all of the kids what a blended family can look like.
  • Blending traditions.

Learnings

  • Never talk bad about your ex in front of the kids or even in-ear shot.
  • You are going to lose friends in your divorce.
  • Your best friend should be your spouse. You should be able to share everything with them.
  • Having fun with the kids. Made sure we had a happy and fun home. Little things that turn into traditions. 
  • Be mindful of your kids and how they might react when you show affection in front of them.
  • Be careful of overindulging your kids. Competing with your ex is dangerous and costly.

Lemonade Moment of Week

Paige is kind to the Ticket agent and gets us priority security checkout.

darrenpulsipher

Founder of Yoly Inc. Helping people get socially centered all over the internet.

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