Podcast 2:5 – Why Blended families fail

When we first got married we believed that love would conquer all. Blending families would be as simple as moving all of our stuff into a house and making it a home. Successfully blending families is hard work and takes some careful planning. we learned some invaluable lessons over the years. In this episode find out what worked and what completely failed in our attempt to bring two families together.

What is it like being parents in a blended family

  • Most couples fight over money, sex, inlaws, and kids
  • Blended families have all of that magnified
  • 50% of families in America are blended.
  • You have to figure out how to make life work inside your home and another home as well.
  • Co-parenting with another family is very hard.
    • Different rules,
    • Expectations
  • Most blended families fail 65- 75%.
  • Balancing everything schedules
  • No ability to make decisions by yourself.

Biggest problems Blended Families Face

  • Sibling rivalry
  • Everyone needs attention
  • Stepparent Discipline can be a Challenge
  • You feel like two separate families. Three in our case.

Tips for success

  • Relinquish some control over the raising of your kids.
  • Learn compassion and grace
  • Root out jealousy
  • Shed off feelings of resentment
  • Don’t take sides (biological or step) on sibling rivalry 
  • Acknowledge birth order changes
  • Use common consequences and rewards across the kids (be careful to not overdo things.)
  • Teenagers at the time of a family blending can be tricky. Biological parents need to take the lead.
  • Younger kids that have been raised together see consistency with both parents.
  • The kids defer to Paige more than Darren.
  • Both parents should attend all of the kids’ activities. Show unity as a parenting unit.
  • Give each child individual attention.
  • Forge bonds with all of the kids over time.

Links

darrenpulsipher

Founder of Yoly Inc. Helping people get socially centered all over the internet.

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